Imagine, you are walking into your office. The moment people see you, they greet you with warm smiles and enthusiastic ‘happy mornings’. As you make your way through the work place, you feel like a superstar. You shake a few hands, you get a few pats on the back, you hug some and your presence uplifts the environment. You are friends with almost everyone and your people love you.

This is your daily life, if and only if, you’re a likeable person. If this seems impossible to you then you would love to know that ‘being likeable’, like any skill, is completely learnable. It is a matter of a few traits that can be developed. These traits are simple and practical for one and all. With a little practice, you could be an ace in this subject.

Here are a few traits that likeable people possess. If you cultivate them, you’ll join the ranks of those who enjoy their weekends with friends, juggling multiple invitations, and their days are surrounded by colleagues who love and respect them immensely.

1. They Feel Secure

Likeable people don’t carry insecurities. Neither about looks nor about wealth nor about education nor about achievements nor about positions. They are deeply secure. They enjoy their own goodness and admire other’s goodness equally happily. They go into every interaction thinking, “Me and them would get along great. I want to know THEM better.” They start from a positive place and others notice. If you’re not here yet, put your insecurities at ease and begin all interactions.

2. They’re Genuine

Likeable people never pretend to be what they aren’t. If they don’t know something, they admit it. If they don’t agree with a statement you have made, they won’t grimace and bear it. They would honestly express they don’t see it the same way. At the same time, they don’t insist their point of view is correct or better. They express gently without putting anyone down. They see where others are coming from, and strive to understand their points. They ensure, there is friendliness in the discussions.

3. They Don’t Judge

People can sense judgmental people. Even if you smile and hide your negative feelings, an alert person can sense you have just formed a poor opinion of them. Rather than seeing others as good or bad, ‘likeable’ people believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions, choices, approaches and mistakes. ‘Likeable’ people make this their philosophy. As long as no one is getting hurt, they never pass judgment on the values, decisions  or morality of another person.

4. They’re Positive

Negativity abounds in our world. We have negativity in our front pages. Negativity oozes in most situations, attitudes and conversations. ‘Likeable’ people will never be a part of this jamboree. Be a positive voice in a world where so many people sound like a scratched, broken record. Being positive will make you a pleasure to talk to and your talk will be a pleasure too.

5. They Don’t Compete

Relationships are not competitions. Conversations aren’t competitions. Life isn’t a competition. Someone does not have to lose for someone else to win. We need not fight over a well. We can find ways to make a new well. With unnecessary quips or claims, likeable people never hijack a meeting. Nor do they compete for attention or appreciation. They never play a game of one-upmanship. They view people as an opportunity to understand, connect and create deep friendships. They enter every conversation with the goal to make the other person feel liked and respected. If you can do this, it will change the tone of the interactions you have, and make everyone enjoy you. You will be fantastically liked.

6. They notice and reach out

People everywhere have issues where they would love to get a little help and solve or sort things out. But as people, we tend to be self-involved and not notice. ‘Likeable’ people take notice and help others solve and sort out their issues. They help in creating connections and making things happen for others. This is how they create friends for life.

7. They don’t settle for polite conversations

Polite conversations don’t develop long lasting friendships. Polite conversations won’t make you a likeable person. Likeable people handle polite conversations by transforming it into deep conversation. They do this by being genuinely interested in others, asking honest questions to help further their understanding, and relating to what they’re told, briefly, before gathering more from the person they’re talking to. Don’t settle for polite conversations. Do everything in your power to move the conversation towards meaningful ones.

8. They are physical

Patting shoulders, shaking hands using both hands, ruffling the hair, and (in some cases) hugging other people makes people more comfortable around you. Touching eliminates the physical barrier of distance. It also wonderfully eliminates the emotional barrier, distance represents. Touch is an art. The first few times always seems awkward. Do practice the art of touch if you want to become more likeable.

9. They keep in touch

They meet people. They get those peoples’ contact information. They befriend those people and invest time with them. And then, they go meet more people, maintaining touch with earlier relationships. A simple birthday wish. A simple anniversary greeting. A simple mail about something they believe might be of interest to you. An small invitation. An sms here and there. They keep in touch brilliantly well. They devote a few minutes everyday, just to remain in touch.

10. They Genuinely Like People

Everyone have moments when they act rudely. Everyone can be annoying from time to time. But deep down, most people are really nice. They care about others, and unless they’re having a bad day, they’re easy to get along with. ‘Likeable’ people know this, and so they like people. They want to get to know other people, and they enter every interaction expecting a positive experience. If you only remember one tip from this article, it should be to develop the attitude of liking people. If you do that, you’ll become more likeable in no time.

Likeable people seem to work magic and develop friendships wherever they go. You can be like that too!

Have the social life, the career, and the life that being more likeable brings you.

On a scale of one to ten, where 1 represents least likeable and 10 represents the most likeable, think about yourself and grade yourself. Now, decide how much likeable you would love to be in 3 months time. Start working on it.

By the way, who is the most likeable person you have ever met in your life. Will you please share about them with us? You see, personally, I would love to rate myself at 10. Your mail will certainly help me move there.

With a heart full of love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

Narendra Goidani

As I Live…I Learn


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